Archive for the 'blogs' Category


Breaking news: Suri Cruise eats chocolate ice cream!

Really, Huffington Post? This is even less newsworthy than Clay Aiken’s coming out.



Image via Flickr user J Roc

I will always contend that my wedding was the best ever.  Having said that, I am more than willing to give it up for my man Thorny’s nuptials.

Already got the tickets for TV on the Radio’s LA show.  Might have to scoop up another poster to go with this.

Do not get high and stay up late tonight listening to this mix tape.  Because that’s what I will be doing.  Biter.

If Naomi Klein isn’t careful, she’s gonna find herself cracking my top 5. 

Via The Moth podcast, comedian Rudy Rush  tells a funny fish out of water story.  




Gilbert Arenas really hates jury duty

We already know that Gilbert Arenas is a joke-stealing douche.  Turns out, he’s also a bit of dummy. This is one of my biggest pet peeves with election season.  People who pay absolutely no attention to politics for three and a half years all of a sudden feel the need to spout their dimwitted musings about the presidential race.   From a recent blog post by Agent Zero Intelligence:

The Election
I’m not into politics, but I see what’s going on in the presidential race and I’m seeing rappers make songs for Obama and Mr. McCain doing all his stuff and I’m thinking, this is getting out of control, people. Whatever happened to Democrats and Republicans? You vote for who’s who.

It’s hard for me to vote, because since I’ve been in the NBA I’ve been in the upper class so I’ve been a Republican. If you have any type of money, you’re a Republican, period. So, it’s hard because you see a better looking president in Obama – I don’t even want to say because he’s black, but he just looks the part – and then you have McCain who is Republican and I’m like, man. I know Obama is going to raise taxes on the upper class from 20-60 percent, that’s what I’m looking at. To be honest, I stopped paying attention a long time ago when it was Bush and Gore when Gore won the popular vote, but Bush was the president.

Basically, what that told me was that everybody in America voted for Gore, but somehow, Bush became president. I am confused. Obviously, our vote doesn’t really mean anything. Then you have this thing called the delegate, then you got the super delegate and then you got the hidden delegate that nobody knows about. If you’ve never heard of the hidden delegate, that’s like when you’re buying a car and they say the taxes on the car are 20 percent, and then when you look at your statement, they charge you an extra three, that’s the same thing. It’s the hidden fee delegate that nobody knows about who has all this power. They actually get to pick who they want for president. So when I start looking at it like that, that’s when I stop paying attention because at the end of the day, our votes really don’t matter. I don’t mean to be rude about it, but it seems like it doesn’t matter. If Gore wins by thousands of votes and Bush is president eight years later … come on.

There’s another reason I don’t vote – I don’t want jury duty. If you’re not registered to vote, you can’t get jury duty. I know that campaign Diddy had a couple years ago, “Vote or Die,” yeah if the alternative is jury duty, I’m going to die. I’m not going to get in one of these cases where they blow the jury members’ houses up to get out of the trial, I’m cool. I’ve seen too many movies.

For whatever president that wins, what can I tell you? Do a good job. Change the world. I remember when we were voting for class president in high school, the guy who won was the guy who said he’s going to put the vending machines in the school cafeteria. That’s who I voted for. So until I hear vending machines or lower gas prices, I’m not voting. As soon as I hear, “Yeah, I’m going to lower gas prices,” then you got me, I’ll sit in jury duty.  

This is coming from a guy who spent 2 years in college…kind of, lives in our nation’s capital, is a multi-millionaire, and only works for 7 months out of the year.  Scary. 



The wife gets some shine from The LA Times

All The Rage asked her for her take on the LA fashion and retail scene. For the record, I rarely wear flip-flops in public.


Jordan, Jesse Go!


I sat in with America’s Radio Sweetheart and the Boy Detective for an episode of Jordan, Jesse Go!  I learned the following things:

1.  Nerds party harder than you think.

2.  Anti-oxidants aren’t anyting. 

3.  Cocoa loves me.

Take a wisten. (c) Buckwheat



Spreading it around

The good folks over at Whip It Out Comedy have seen fit to allow my words to sully another place in the blogosphere.  My first two posts are here and here.

Bonus video footage that won’t make sense until you click on the first link:





Gilbert Arenas: Asshole

A week or so ago, Gilbert Arenas posted an observation about shark attacks on his blog. The crux of the post was that there are no such things as shark attacks because they all happen in the water, which is the shark’s domain. Initially, everyone remarked about how it was kind of an old premise that he was trying to pass off as a new observation. Turns out, it’s worse than that. Arenas was finally forced to admit that he stole the joke from comedian Ian Edwards. Arenas is a smart guy, so I was expecting a candid, honest mea culpa. Instead, here’s what Agent Zero had to say.

Listen, nobody even heard of Ian Edwards before me. He’s no Chris Rock. I helped him become famous. Now everybody is going to YouTube and looking him up.

The joke was worth about $7 when I heard it, now that I’ve used it’s probably worth a little bit more. I’ll sell it back to him for $7.78. Seventy-eight cents, Ian, you can put that in a royalties check made out to me.

Puffy and Ashanti made careers out of stealing other people’s beats. This is America, the land of the reused.

If you think about it, nothing is original. Every joke has been retold at some point. What I did was recycle a new joke instead of waiting for it to get old. It was too funny not to. I mean, at least I picked a good joke, right? It’s not like it was some lame, “Yo momma” joke.

It’s one thing to steal someone else’s joke. (And that’s what you did, Gilbert. You stole it.) It’s an entirely different level of assholery to then defend said thievery with this lame explanation.

Here’s Ian Edwards performing that very bit on Conan.


ESPN’s True Hoop tells Leandro Barbosa’s story.

One of my daily must-reads is ESPN’s excellent NBA blog TrueHoop by Henry Abbott. They’re currently running a piece detailing Brazilian sensation Leandro Barbosa’s journey to the NBA. Canadian writer Gregory Dole recounts the tale of escorting Barbosa to the US for his round of workouts with NBA teams. Apparently, Dole saw Barbosa’s on a Brazilian basketball mix tape and knew he was an NBA caliber player the moment he laid eyes on him; which is pretty much how the rest of the basketball world felt once they saw him in a Phoenix Suns uniform.

Here’s a taste from part 1 of Rolling with Barbosa:

However buried deep in the goof’s mixtape is a guard who is off the charts. The player’s skill seems almost unbelievable, like a legend of street basketball. I can’t really begin to describe it other than to say that he is off the charts. Off the charts and from some unknown universe. An alien basketball lifeform, unlike anything I have never seen before.

Like all Lakers fans, I’ve seen exactly what he can do in the playoffs for the past two years. If you haven’t had the pleasure, here’s a little taste of what The Brazilian Blur is like on the basketball court.


A better man wouldn’t mention this


I told you all about how great Wax Poetics magazine is.
My tight partner, Thorny, blogs about how great Betty Davis is.
Betty Davis happens to be on the cover of the current Wax Poetics.

Some might call that a coincidence. Some might call it complete and independent verification of how fucking hip I am. Who am I to say?


This Thursday at Turntable Lab

Gotta take advantage of the freebies. And this looks like a good one. Turntable Lab is a hip-hop nerd’s paradise.


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