Archive for the 'basketball' Category



19
Sep

Roundup

Image via Flickr user Куртис Перри

I have a love/hate relationship with Mark Cuban.  It just swung back towards the “love” direction after reading this.

Tiger Woods’ niece is a Demon Deacon. Based on that picture, I’m guessing there will be a slight increase in the male attendance at Wake Forest Women’s golf events.

I caught Style Wars at the Silent Movie Theater last night.  See it for yourself in 8 parts thanks to YouTube.

Check out Poison Fire; a mini-documentary about gas flaring in Nigeria.

Mr. Fish is razor sharp, as usual.

07
Aug

Gilbert Arenas really hates jury duty

We already know that Gilbert Arenas is a joke-stealing douche.  Turns out, he’s also a bit of dummy. This is one of my biggest pet peeves with election season.  People who pay absolutely no attention to politics for three and a half years all of a sudden feel the need to spout their dimwitted musings about the presidential race.   From a recent blog post by Agent Zero Intelligence:

The Election
I’m not into politics, but I see what’s going on in the presidential race and I’m seeing rappers make songs for Obama and Mr. McCain doing all his stuff and I’m thinking, this is getting out of control, people. Whatever happened to Democrats and Republicans? You vote for who’s who.

It’s hard for me to vote, because since I’ve been in the NBA I’ve been in the upper class so I’ve been a Republican. If you have any type of money, you’re a Republican, period. So, it’s hard because you see a better looking president in Obama – I don’t even want to say because he’s black, but he just looks the part – and then you have McCain who is Republican and I’m like, man. I know Obama is going to raise taxes on the upper class from 20-60 percent, that’s what I’m looking at. To be honest, I stopped paying attention a long time ago when it was Bush and Gore when Gore won the popular vote, but Bush was the president.

Basically, what that told me was that everybody in America voted for Gore, but somehow, Bush became president. I am confused. Obviously, our vote doesn’t really mean anything. Then you have this thing called the delegate, then you got the super delegate and then you got the hidden delegate that nobody knows about. If you’ve never heard of the hidden delegate, that’s like when you’re buying a car and they say the taxes on the car are 20 percent, and then when you look at your statement, they charge you an extra three, that’s the same thing. It’s the hidden fee delegate that nobody knows about who has all this power. They actually get to pick who they want for president. So when I start looking at it like that, that’s when I stop paying attention because at the end of the day, our votes really don’t matter. I don’t mean to be rude about it, but it seems like it doesn’t matter. If Gore wins by thousands of votes and Bush is president eight years later … come on.

There’s another reason I don’t vote – I don’t want jury duty. If you’re not registered to vote, you can’t get jury duty. I know that campaign Diddy had a couple years ago, “Vote or Die,” yeah if the alternative is jury duty, I’m going to die. I’m not going to get in one of these cases where they blow the jury members’ houses up to get out of the trial, I’m cool. I’ve seen too many movies.

For whatever president that wins, what can I tell you? Do a good job. Change the world. I remember when we were voting for class president in high school, the guy who won was the guy who said he’s going to put the vending machines in the school cafeteria. That’s who I voted for. So until I hear vending machines or lower gas prices, I’m not voting. As soon as I hear, “Yeah, I’m going to lower gas prices,” then you got me, I’ll sit in jury duty.  

This is coming from a guy who spent 2 years in college…kind of, lives in our nation’s capital, is a multi-millionaire, and only works for 7 months out of the year.  Scary. 

 

29
May

Jason Whitlock is fat, stupid and blind

That headline may sound like a childish, personal attack if it weren’t so very true.  Clearly, the guy is morbidly obese.  And his idiotic proclamations about sports are approaching legendary status.  Finally, we find out why his writing is so uninformed.  He’s fucking blind. 

But there’s one issue driving improved ratings that likely won’t be touched by all the NBA talking heads on TNT and ESPN.

Tattoos. Or rather the lack of tattoos in the conference finals.

Part of the reason more people are watching these playoffs is because the average fan isn’t constantly repulsed by the appearance of most of the players on the court. Most of the key players left in the playoffs don’t look like recent prison parolees.

The only accurate way to describe Garnett, Pierce, Duncan, Allen, Manu, Parker and even Kobe is "clean cut." Yeah, there are a couple of tattoos in that group — Duncan has something on his back, Kobe still has his post-rape-allegation tat — but the Lakers, Spurs and Celtics have far less ink on average than your typical NBA franchise.

Like most of the nonsense this guy spews, this isn’t based on any evidence or facts.  It’s just his own clear distaste for tattoos projected onto the entire population of pro basketball watchers.  Obviously, anyone even remotely familiar with the rosters of the remaining  squads can  do a quick search and come up with various  examples of Kobe’s ink, KG’s ink, Chauncy Billups’ ink, Tim Duncan’s ink, or Luke Walton’s ink.   But that isn’t even necessary.  Whitlock’s idiotic thesis is refuted by the image that’s featured on the web page where his column appears.  God bless ‘Sheed.

 

 

21
Mar

This is madness

02
Feb

Bienvenidos a Los Angeles, Pau!

 

10
Aug

Gilbert Arenas: Asshole

A week or so ago, Gilbert Arenas posted an observation about shark attacks on his blog. The crux of the post was that there are no such things as shark attacks because they all happen in the water, which is the shark’s domain. Initially, everyone remarked about how it was kind of an old premise that he was trying to pass off as a new observation. Turns out, it’s worse than that. Arenas was finally forced to admit that he stole the joke from comedian Ian Edwards. Arenas is a smart guy, so I was expecting a candid, honest mea culpa. Instead, here’s what Agent Zero had to say.

Listen, nobody even heard of Ian Edwards before me. He’s no Chris Rock. I helped him become famous. Now everybody is going to YouTube and looking him up.

The joke was worth about $7 when I heard it, now that I’ve used it’s probably worth a little bit more. I’ll sell it back to him for $7.78. Seventy-eight cents, Ian, you can put that in a royalties check made out to me.

Puffy and Ashanti made careers out of stealing other people’s beats. This is America, the land of the reused.

If you think about it, nothing is original. Every joke has been retold at some point. What I did was recycle a new joke instead of waiting for it to get old. It was too funny not to. I mean, at least I picked a good joke, right? It’s not like it was some lame, “Yo momma” joke.

It’s one thing to steal someone else’s joke. (And that’s what you did, Gilbert. You stole it.) It’s an entirely different level of assholery to then defend said thievery with this lame explanation.

Here’s Ian Edwards performing that very bit on Conan.

18
Jul

Wolfpack or Tarheels?

Young Locke has already made up his mind.
via YouTuber RhettandLink

18
May

ESPN’s True Hoop tells Leandro Barbosa’s story.

One of my daily must-reads is ESPN’s excellent NBA blog TrueHoop by Henry Abbott. They’re currently running a piece detailing Brazilian sensation Leandro Barbosa’s journey to the NBA. Canadian writer Gregory Dole recounts the tale of escorting Barbosa to the US for his round of workouts with NBA teams. Apparently, Dole saw Barbosa’s on a Brazilian basketball mix tape and knew he was an NBA caliber player the moment he laid eyes on him; which is pretty much how the rest of the basketball world felt once they saw him in a Phoenix Suns uniform.

Here’s a taste from part 1 of Rolling with Barbosa:

However buried deep in the goof’s mixtape is a guard who is off the charts. The player’s skill seems almost unbelievable, like a legend of street basketball. I can’t really begin to describe it other than to say that he is off the charts. Off the charts and from some unknown universe. An alien basketball lifeform, unlike anything I have never seen before.

Like all Lakers fans, I’ve seen exactly what he can do in the playoffs for the past two years. If you haven’t had the pleasure, here’s a little taste of what The Brazilian Blur is like on the basketball court.

10
May

KG, are you listening?

Via GetGarnett.com

16
Apr

There’s no laughing in basketball.

They’ve already done away with the scourge of throwback jerseys and baggy jeans. Apparently, the NBA is now out to crack down on the rampant chuckling, chortling, and guffawing that these thuggish players are so fond of. Tim Duncan, you’re on notice!




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