Archive for the 'gay marriage' Category

11
Feb

A Memo to America

Barack Obama is not your favorite uncle.

He’s not your BFF. He’s not a rock star. He’s not the short, but scrappy white guy who comes off the bench for your college basketball team to the delight of the student section.

He’s an elected official. He’s a civil servant. He works for you. It is both your right and your responsibility to scrutinize and question every single policy decision he makes. It is both your right and your responsibility to parse every public statement he gives. Our population’s failure to do these things is what gave BushCo the freedom to lie, cheat and steal this country into both the financial and moral bankruptcy. Failure to do so under the current administration will only make it worse. What we need from you is not knee-jerk defense of Barack Obama. What we need from you, fellow citizen, is vigilance.

A quick recap of what’s at stake:

  • The financial sector is a shambles of foreclosed homes, insolvent banks and hundreds of thousands of recently unemployed men and women. Once again, the big guy has bent the little guy over and sodomized him with rolled up hundred dollar bills. Once again, he’s going to get away with it.
  • Speaking of financial matters, half of all bankruptcies in this country are caused by medical bills. The wealthiest nation in history has a health care system which The World Health Organization ranked lower than Costa Rica, Morocco, Colombia and 33 other countries when it last produced it’s rankings in 2000. Silly socialists.
  • Our love affair with rockets and tanks has left us with a bloated defense budget that is almost as large as the military expenditures of all the other countries in the world combined. We’ve been in Iraq longer than we were in WW II. During that time, we’ve murdered and/or caused the deaths of as many as a million people, displaced hundreds of thousands more, made cannon fodder of 4,000 Americans, created countless terrorists and spent as many as $3 trillion, according to some estimates. But if we leave too soon, you know…things might really fall apart.
  • Despite our legal, moral and tactical failing in Iraq, we’re poised to redouble our efforts in that other illegal, immoral war of aggression in Afghanistan with a troop surge for that specific campaign and an increase in military spending in general. If at first you don’t succeed…
  • Some Americans still hold on to the arrogant, ignorant notion that our homosexual brothers and sisters do not have the exact same rights as everyone else. (Do you think Barack and Michelle would have settled for a civil union?) While the nation’s gaze was focused on the passage of Proposition 8 in California—a heinous and hateful piece of legislation, to be sure—Arkansas, Florida and Arizona passed laws making it illegal for homosexual couples to adopt. Much better that thousands of children continue to be shuffled to and from various foster homes and orphanages, lest they end of living with a couple of dikes, huh?
  • Oh yeah. Cops are still murdering Black men in the street.

Excuse the fuck out of me if I take a second from admiring how Black and cool my president is to spend time worrying about the actual issues.

“But, Nick. Obama just got into the White House! He didn’t cause all that other stuff!”

As a United States Senator, Obama was complicit in and/or did absolutely nothing to resolve most of the aforementioned issues. (The fact that he was not in the Senate for the Iraq war vote and has said repeatedly that he would not have voted for it is balanced out by the fact that he voted to give President Bush every single dollar he wanted to fight the war.) He may not have been the guy holding Jodie Foster down on the pool table, but he was definitely cheering by the bar.

If I have to hear, read or see one more pundit falling back on some version of that toothless “he just got elected” canard, I’m going to challenge Stephon Marbury to a head-butting competition.

The next friend or family member who allows that idiotic, “He just said that to get elected”, The Spook Who Sat by the Door theory to escape their lips should be given the Ludovico technique from A Clockwork Orange with the violent images replaced with Noam Chomsky speeches.

Yes, the Obamas seem to be a well-adjusted, loving, beautiful family. Who gives a fuck? We have more important things to talk about than what sort of dog Malia and Sasha will get or whether or not Barack is smoking again.

The campaign is over. “Yes we can” should be removed from your vocabulary and deposited in the dust bin of political propaganda forever. Take that limited edition Shepard Fairy print down off your fucking wall, roll it up really tight, and shove it up your ass. You don’t make idols out of employees. The time has come for Americans to stop being cheerleaders and start being play by play analysts. (Think Hubie Brown, not Dick Vitale.)

What America needs is more informed, passionate debate on the merits of the issues. What America does not need is more mealy-mouthed defenses of Barack Obama.

04
Apr

Are you there God? It’s me, Tony Dungy.

INT. DOLPHIN STADIUM – NIGHT

The Indianapolis Colts are reveling in their Super Bowl victory.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)

Congratulations to the 2007 Super Bowl winners the Indianapolis Colts!
What are you going to do now?

PLAYER

I’m gonna go get arrested!

Cut to:

The headline of a story in yesterday’s Indianapolis Star that reads: Another Colt runs afoul of law.

Indianapolis Colts defensive lineman Darrell Reid became the fourth player from the Super Bowl champions to be arrested this year when he was booked Saturday on three charges stemming from marijuana possession in his hometown of Freehold, N.J. Dominic Rhodes, Dexter Reid and DeDe Dorsey have also made the police blotter since Jan. 3.

Darrell Reid, 24, was charged with possession of less than 50 grams of marijuana, obstruction of the administration of law and possession of a controlled dangerous substance in a motor vehicle, according to the Asbury Park Press.

Anyone who knows me probably knows my stance on this country’s asinine, outdated drug policy. Especially towards marijuana. (Did I mention that it’s less harmful to society than alcohol and tobacco?) But I think this story is interesting for a couple of reason. First, I have no idea why professional athletes continue to drive around with their weed. What is the thought process behind this?

“Let’s see. I’m a 24 year old black male driving around the suburbs in an expensive automobile. The odds of me being pulled over by the cops just aren’t high enough. Let’s see if I can get a strong marijuana smell emanating from the vehicle too!”

I’d like to take this opportunity to give Darrell, Dominic, Dexter and DeDe three pieces of unsolicited advice. (Random black conspiracy theory: They’ve already destroyed all the black men in American who’s first names start with the letters A-C.) This advice applies to everybody, but it seems that athletes fall into these pitfalls so damned easily. I’m just speaking as a 34-year-old man and long time sports fan. I’ve seen this shit before. We all have. Here goes:

1. Until you put a ring on her finger, you put a condom on your dick. I don’t think I need to say anything further about that.

2. Don’t spend your money on stupid shit. Why put twelve extra diamonds in a Rolex? Watch VH1’s Behind the Music: MC Hammer religiously. Study it. Learn the signs of over-consumption. (First sign. Anything gold plated…probably a little extravagant.)

3. If you think your night is going to get a little crazy…do it at home. Strippers and blow? Not a problem. Cognac, weed and ’round the way girls more your thing? Who’s gonna know? Everybody check their digital cameras at the door and let’s get freaky!

If you want to smoke out, I’m certainly not going to be the man to tell you not to. But do that shit AT HOME.

The irony of this story is that the Colts’ head coach, Tony Dungy is what scientists refer to as a Jesus Freak. The post-game interview he did after his groundbreaking Super Bowl win sounded more like Bible study. What’s that you say? Tony Dungy’s own personal beliefs are none of my business? Why bash him for it? Well, once you start aligning yourself with right-wing religious groups and speaking out against the freedoms of American citizens, I have to call bull and shit.

Dungy was also one of the main people with his panties in a bunch over the whole Terrell Owens Monday Night Football scandal.

Yes. The site of a white woman’s bare shoulders was simply too much for Tony and a lot of Americans to take. Here’s what he said about it:

I thought it was uncalled for. I thought it was in really bad taste and just, I don’t know that there’s any way you can defend it. I thought it hit at a lot of stereotypes towards athletes, black athletes in particular. I thought it was very insensitive on the heels of the Kobe Bryant situation.

Here’s what I always picture when I see that quote:

Helen Lovejoy

Won’t someone please think of the children!

06
Feb

John Edwards drops the ball on gay marriage.

After the Super Bowl, I was channel surfing and came upon C-Span’s Road to the White House coverage just in time to see John Edwards equivocating his ass off about gay marriage. He was addressing students at Dartmouth College when he was asked his stance on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender rights and gay marriage. Here’s the clip, followed by my response.

Right off the bat he starts talking about how he grew up in a Southern Baptist church in North Carolina and how, as a result of that, he feels morally conflicted about some of these issues. Guess what, John? That doesn’t matter. The Declaration of Independence is pretty clear about the fact that “all men are created equal.” That means that every single right that heterosexual people have, homosexual people are also entitled to. Period. End of story. I’m actually glad he chose to bring up religion. More on that in a moment.

Then he goes on to say that because of his beliefs he’s not for gay marriage. Who gives a damn what you’re for? As a United States Senator you take an oath of office which begins this way:

I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God.

See, John. You made a promise to your God to defend the Constitution. The Constitution says gay people have the same rights as you. So, if you don’t defend the rights of homosexuals to get married, you’re going back on a promise that you made to God.

He goes on to mention that his daughter, who is 24 years old, thinks that this is ridiculous. She told him that this will disappear with her generation. I’ve often said the same thing about this issue. I firmly believe that one day in the not too distant future, we will look back at how we handled this and be profoundly ashamed. The problem is that the people of my generation and Cate Edwards’ generation aren’t in power. The people of John Edwards’ generation are. And every day that gay people in America are denied their basic civil rights is national embarrassment.

Then he starts talking about civil unions. Nothing pisses me off more than this. Any politician who utters the phrase civil unions or domestic partnerships will not get my vote. (You listening Obama?) It’s transparent, pandering bullshit. Politicians use this phrase so they won’t alienate the more conservative voters. Then they do exactly what Edwards did next which is talk about how he supports all anti-discrimination laws. Guess what John? You just admitted that you believe in discrimination. You either believe that gays have the EXACT SAME RIGHTS AS YOU DO or you don’t. There is no middle ground.

I love how at the end of the clip he says he’s not uncomfortable talking about it. Right. You’re a white Southern Baptist presidential candidate and you’re not uncomfortable talking about LGBT issues. That’s like me saying I’m not uncomfortable talking about my mother-in-law’s menopause.

It doesn’t matter how old you are. It doesn’t matter where you grew up. It doesn’t matter what your “internal conflict” is. You either defend their rights or you don’t. It’s sad that someone who has so many good things to say on so many issues ended up being such a coward on this one.




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