How I feel about this bit of news can best be compared to the way I felt when I found out that Marion Barry had been re-elected Mayor of DC. It’s so shocking that I’m not even shocked.

Via RottenTomatoes

If you thought film versions of Monopoly and Battleship represented the dirt-covered floor of the basement in Hollywood’s withered creative brain, think again: GameDaily is reporting that plans are afoot to bring Joust to a theater near you.

Yes, Joust. The game to which children of the ’80s sacrificed untold quarters. If you’re somehow unfamiliar with the 25-year-old arcade classic, the “plot” is easy to describe: You play as a knight who flaps around on an ostrich (or emu), using your lance to poke opposing knights off their buzzards. Without getting into too much detail, you also need to eat eggs, avoid pterodactyls, and watch out for the troll that lives in the molten lava below.

Cerenzie also describes the film’s script, written by Marc Gottlieb, as “Gladiator meets Mad Max.” It takes place in the future, and involves a floating Las Vegas.

White people get to make movies about jousting on ostriches in a futuristic, floating Las Vegas and black actors still have to play rapping pimps to get good work.

Hooray for Hollywood! Now to get back to work on my Burgertime script.

You can play Joust online at Midway’s website.