06
Aug
07

Republicans would rather be racist than gay

Men’sroom
(Image from flickr user SuzanneK)

From the Orlando Sentinel

State Rep. Bob Allen told police he was just playing along when a undercover officer suggested in a public restroom that the legislator give him oral sex and $20 because he was intimidated, according to a taped statement and other documents released Thursday.

“This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park,” Allen, who is white, told police in a taped statement after his arrest. Allen said he feared he “was about to be a statistic” and would have said anything just to get away.

First off, when did “stocky black guys” become intimidating? Is that all it takes, now? You just have to be stocky? Back in my day, if you wanted to intimidate a white man you had to at least be tall and/or muscular. These chubby young punks today apparently can just waltz up to a grown man and take his lunch money. And I also love that, when threatened, this quick-witted racist comes up with the genius plan to offer the guy a blow job. All of mankind makes due with two options in situations like these. Fight or flight. There’s no “suck” option, Bob.

And if he’s so afraid of black people, why would he be going to the bathroom of this park that’s populated with all these stocky, scary Negroes? Oh yeah. I forgot. He’s full of shit. He went to that park with the specific intent of sucking off one of those “stocky black guys.” And so what? That’s what I say. Whenever one of these preachers or politicians gets caught with his hands down another man’s pants, I always scream the same thing to my wife. “If you like dick, just admit it and move on. You’ll be much happier.” Of course that would also require them admitting that their entire way of life and belief system is a lie. So instead of admitting that he likes dick, he hatches this cockamamie, racist story.

What’s just as fucked up is how the cops caught him. They were staking out a nearby condo hoping to catch someone in the act of burglary when they saw Allen go into the restroom. They said that he was “behaving suspiciously and thought that he was looking for a sexual partner.” They basically called off the hunt for a thief to go hassle a guy who was looking to maybe suck some dick on a Saturday afternoon, and was willing to pay for it. Way to hurt the local economy Titusville Police Department.


1 Response to “Republicans would rather be racist than gay”


  1. 1 Erica Watson Aug 8th, 2007 at 2:23 pm

    Nick..I wanna be like you when I grow up! I love your writing…and I SO AGREE with your latest blog entry. I’d rather be gay than republican myself….but I’d also rather be Repulican than fat….guess i have issues, huh!?!

    Please stop by and read my blog called “Tired of Being a Pretty Fat Girl”…my latest blog entry in called “Is it a Bird? Is it a Plane? No, it’s SUPER MAMMY!”
    http://honeymag.com/modules/tiredofbeingapfg/

    Keep em laughing—-Erica Watson

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