Archive for March, 2007



14
Mar

Dear CBS, You can’t have my soul this year.

I lived each and every one of my first 22 years on this Earth smack dab in the middle of Tobacco Road in North Carolina. In that part of the country, you start to play organized basketball as soon as you can run. I remember being in junior high and watching the ACC tournament. In class. Completely sanctioned by teachers. At a young age, you picked a university to cheer for as if your life depended on it. How do you a choose? Who gives a shit? Just pick one. We got a game to watch. What’s your favorite color? Red? Congratulations, you’re a Wolfpack fan. Pass the Doritos.

Any affiliation to said school is unnecessary and unimportant. I saw grown men who had never so much as set foot inside the Chapel Hill city limits actually come to blows. All because of a slight—real or imagined—to the character of Jeff Lebo.

And you stuck with that team and only that team unless one thing happened in your life. You or child ends up attending a school other than the one you root for. I drank the Carolina Blue Kool-Aide and stayed a Tarheel fan up until the day I got my acceptance letter from Wake Forest. That evening I went to the mall and bought a Wake baseball cap. From that moment, I became a Wake guy. And I’ll stay a Wake guy until my ride is over.

College basketball is in my blood.

But you can’t have my soul this year. You can’t suck me into your endless web of highlights and feel good pieces. I don’t want to know how that one guard from that huge state school does community service with handicapped Iraq war veterans. I don’t want to know how that one coach from that tiny school that we’ve never heard of is retiring after a distinguished 40 year career. I cannot live and die with these people for weeks out of my life any more. I simply can’t do it.

But…

I really do want to see if that Ohio State team has enough experience to deal with the pressure cooker of six NCAA tournament games. Even though Greg Oden ripped my heart out of my chest by choosing to be a Buckeye over a Demon Deacon, I still root for the kid.

I’d love nothing more than to have the pleasure of watching Kevin Durant explode for another superlative exhausting 25 point half. Watching Durant evokes memories of a similar baby-faced assassin named Carmelo Anthony literally laughing at his opponents during the Syracuse march through March.

What kind of seizure influenced dance moves will Joakim Noah will come up with if Florida finds a way to repeat?

Is this the year Tubby Smith finally gets those idiotic Kentucky fans off his back?

How many times per game will Billy Packer make a painfully obvious prediction and then pat himself on the back when it comes to fruition?

I guess there’s only one way to find out. See you on Thursday morning.

10
Mar

Kristi Yamaoka is a soldier.

Tony and Mike gave a shout out to this Southern Illinois University cheerleader last week on the one year anniversary of this accident. Dwayne Wade, I’m looking at you.

I remember a Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel report that said cheerleading was the leading cause of serious injuries for female athletes in high school and college. When you’re throwing tiny little demi-women twenty feet into the air, I can see why. Oh yeah. Guess who’s back on the squad this year? That’s right. Kristi “Nails” Yamaoka. Too bad she’s out there cheering on all those Black people, right Kenneth Eng?

You idiot.

*****
Did you know?
Black female astronaut Joan E. Higginbotham is also a proud Saluki?

Sisters in space!

Did you know?
There are Black people named Higginbotham?

10
Mar

White men can’t jump?

Bostjan Nachbar didn’t get that memo.


In other NBA news:

Gheorghe Muresan is teaching a fellow giant how to play the game.

Chuck Klosterman extols the virtues of Agent 0.

A video interview with renaissance man Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

09
Mar

Sho ’nuff, Ms. Hillary!

Jesus. Hillary is proving to be quite the bone head. How long until she’s caught smacking a baby on a nanny cam or something?

I’ll be really glad when white politicians stop thinking that they can stop off in a few black churches, quote Dr. King and sing a few good old fashioned Negro spirituals and count on the black vote. I’ll also be really glad when Black folks stop gobbling up that pandering bullshit.

06
Mar

My new favorite blog.

What Jeff Killed.

06
Mar

Black comedians form like Voltron.

And with that blog entry title, I’ve just written 1/10,000th of a Ghostface song.

My man Maronzio “Macaroni” Vance put together an end of Black History Month show at The Improv. I don’t think that people realize how many really funny black comics there are in this town who don’t do what people consider to be stereotypically “urban” stuff. This is the most fun I’ve had being a part of a comedy show for a long time.

Maronzio.  Kind of. Maronzio Me. Wyatt The Redd man. Non-threatening Negro comedians form like Voltron. A satisfied customer. I can't pose for shit. Hugh didn't get the memo. Wyatt's jacket.  Thrift store steal of the century Pedo y su madre.

Thanks to the internets, you can see more of these fine gentlemen in various and sundry places.

Here’s Maronzio performing at the Just for Laughs Festival in Montreal.

Here’s a previous entry featuring Wyatt Cenac as Barack Obama.

Here’s Jasper Redd telling you about the tour he’s on right now. And here he is again on Comedy Central.

Here’s Pedro Hernandez standing up. And starring in a new reality show.

And here’s a funny QVC clip put together by Hugh Moore.

02
Mar

Witness the birth of a genius.

Another YouTube gem. Highlights of Michael Jordan abusing San Antonio way back in ’84. In only his ninth pro game, he gave the Spurs 45 points, 10 rebounds and 4 assists. This was his first 40+ effort, but if you listen to the commentators, you’ll hear them mention that he had already scored 37 earlier in the season.

It’s all on display here. The creativity, the relentless assault on the rim, the steals, the yet to be perfected jump shot, the hang time, the passing ability, the ball-handling. Ali is probably the only athlete to ever make greatness look so damn good.




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